Harness Your Power: Using Your Circle of Influence
Written by Veronica Pilon, LCSW and MFC Therapist
In a world that often feels overwhelming, getting caught up in worries, anxieties, and frustrations over things we cannot control is easy. The sheer volume of external stressors can be paralyzing, from witnessing global events to other people’s behavior. However, shifting our focus toward our Circle of Influence—the things we can impact—can be a game changer for reducing stress, increasing effectiveness, and fostering a sense of empowerment.
What is the Circle of Influence
Stephen Covey introduced the circle of Influence concept in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It represents the aspects of life affected directly or indirectly. This sits within a larger Circle of Concern, which includes everything we worry about but have little to no control over. For example, if you are concerned about global economic instability (Circle of Concern), you can influence your personal finances by budgeting and saving (Circle of Influence). The key is learning to direct energy toward what you can influence rather than being consumed by what you can’t control.
Focusing on Your Circle of Influence Matters
Many people experience frustration, depression, and anxiety because they invest too much emotional energy in their Circle of Concern—things like social media, workplace dynamics, politics, or unpredictable external events. When we fixate on these concerns, we waste mental and emotional resources on problems we have no power over.
Conversely, when we focus on our Circle of Influence, we:
- Feel more in control of our lives
- Reduce stress and anxiety
- Become more effective in solving problems
- Build confidence and resilience
- Strengthen relationships through proactive communication
Expanding Your Circle of Influence
The great thing about focusing on your Circle of Influence is that it tends to expand over time. As you consistently take ownership of what you can influence, you build trust, credibility, and personal power—allowing you to interact with more aspects of your environment. Here’s how:
- Take Ownership of Your Reactions (Attitude & Mindset)
- You may not be able to control an event, but you can control how you respond. This includes practicing emotional regulation, mindfulness, and reframing negative situations.
- Instead of reacting with frustration, ask yourself: What action can I take that aligns with my values and goals?
- Strengthen Your Skills and Knowledge (Skills & Knowledge)
- Competence breeds influence. Whether learning new skills for career advancement, improving communication techniques, or enhancing emotional intelligence, personal growth expands your influence.
- Set Boundaries and Prioritize Self-Care (Health & Wellbeing)
- Influencing your environment requires energy. Setting boundaries—whether in relationships, at work, or with social media consumption—helps conserve your energy for what truly matters.
- Build Stronger Relationships (Relationships)
- People are more likely to listen to, trust, and be influenced by those who show empathy, integrity, and reliability. Investing in relationships through active listening and meaningful interactions increases one’s ability to positively impact others.
- Take Consistent Action (Personal Habits)
Nothing expands influence more than taking action, whether advocating for yourself, starting small changes in your routine, or setting clear goals, consistent effort compounds over time.
Putting It Into Practice
Take a moment to reflect: What areas of your life have you focused on outside your control? What’s something within your Circle of Influence that you can take action on today? Shifting your focus in this way isn’t just about reducing stress—it’s about reclaiming your power. When you focus on what you can change, you become a more effective leader in your own life, fostering resilience, confidence, and meaningful progress.
Start today. Small changes lead to significant results; before you know it, your Circle of Influence will be larger than you ever imagined.
Related Resources
- Article: Understanding the Circle of Influence, Concern and Control.
- Podcast: What is my Circle of Concern & Circle of Influence? By Franklin Covey
Counseling for Circle of Influence Support
Veronica Pilona, LCSW, is available to help guide you in taking control over what you can in your personal life and recognizing areas where you do not have control. Other therapists also specialize in therapy for personal growth and development. Chat with scheduling or contact us to learn which online and in-person therapists might be a good match for you.
