This article was written by Lilly Knopic, LPC, NCC, an experienced Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has worked in the mental health field since 2007. Her diverse background in mental health has fostered her belief in treating everyone with respect, sensitivity, and compassion. She will partner with you to create a therapy plan tailored to your specific values-based needs. Schedule therapy with Lilly or another therapist specializing in goal-setting, health, and wellness now.
Stop Chasing Happiness: Start Loving and Not Just Living Your Values 🌱✨
“I want a happy life.”
It’s a beautiful intention 💛—but there’s a problem. Happiness is an emotion, and emotions are fleeting and impermanent. They rise, they fall, they shift with our circumstances. When we make “happiness” the final destination, we set ourselves up to chase something that was never meant to stay.
That’s why therapeutic approaches like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) encourage something different:
👉 Build a values-driven life, not a happiness-driven life.
When you consistently connect with your values and shape your life around what truly matters to you, you increase the likelihood of experiencing meaningful, sustainable positive emotions over time—and you build resilience to navigate the hard ones. 💪
Let’s explore how.
Why a Values-Based Approach to Goal-Setting? 🧭
Have you ever wanted to do something… but just couldn’t get yourself to do it?
“I want to go to the gym… but it’s cold outside, and I’d have to drive there, and it’s so cozy here on the couch.”
Often, the path toward our goals includes discomfort. Effort. Anxiety. Inconvenience. The reward isn’t immediate. And when the “reinforcer” isn’t front and center, motivation can fade fast.
This is where values step in. A values-driven philosophy asks a powerful question:
Am I willing to feel discomfort because it increases access to what matters most to me?
For example, a client working toward getting her driver’s license felt overwhelmed by the process. We continually returned to the deeper value: independence. That independence would expand her world and increase access to her “life worth living.” 🚗
When your goals are rooted in what you deeply care about—not what you think you “should” care about—the hard work becomes meaningful.
If you’re going to strive for change, let’s make sure the effort comes from your heart.
What Are Your Values? 💭
Think of your values as your compass in life (Hill & Sorensen, 2021). 🧭
A compass doesn’t tell you the final destination—it keeps you oriented in the direction you want to travel. Values are about how you live, not where you arrive.
Life is happening right now. The process is the reward.
Here are examples of values you might resonate with:
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🌿 Self-development
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🤝 Integrity and honesty
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🌎 Contribution to community
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⚖️ Equality and open-mindedness
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🏡 Security and stability
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✨ Spirituality
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🎨 Creative expression
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🕊️ Independence and autonomy
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💬 Respectfulness
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🌄 Adventure and excitement
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🎉 Pleasure and fun
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🏆 Achievement
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🌟 Leadership
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❤️ Relationships
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🏠 Belonging
Another way to clarify your values is to ask:
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How do I want to show up in the world?
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What qualities (compassionate, loyal, curious, fair, generous) would make me proud if others used them to describe me?
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What traits do I admire most in others?
These qualities offer insight into how you want to live—not someday, but today.
How to Start Living Your Values (Even TODAY) 🌞
Once you’ve identified your values, the next step is bringing them into your everyday decisions.
1. Ask Reflective Questions 🪞
Use moments of stress or regret as information—not failure.
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What does this unwanted emotion show me about what I care about?
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Any regrets this week? What do they reveal about my priorities?
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When did I feel most fulfilled yesterday? Why?
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When do I feel like I’m growing?
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What type of person do I want to be today?
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What’s one quality I’d like to embody in the next 24 hours?
Regret often highlights a value. Joy does too.
2. Use Symbols as Reminders 🎵
Values can be anchored through objects, words, or sensory cues.
If you value creative expression but can’t currently restructure your schedule, you might:
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Use photos of your artwork as your phone background 🎨
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Keep a meaningful quote visible
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Wear jewelry that represents strength or compassion
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Add a song to your morning routine that reflects who you want to be 🎶
Ask yourself: What do these symbols show me about what I love? And how can I act on that love today?
3. Take Action—Right Now 🚀
Values come alive through behavior.
If you value caring for your body → stretch right now.
If you value connection → send a text or offer a hug.
If you value growth → read one page of that book.
We often spend more energy worrying about doing something than actually doing it.
Ask yourself: What is one small, meaningful action I can take in the next five minutes that aligns with my values?
Proceed even when obstacles arise.
Can you feel anxiety and still take action?
Can you experience discomfort and move toward what matters?
Growth rarely lives inside the comfort zone. 🌱
Long-Term Emotional Wellbeing 💛
Much of mental health work focuses on short-term emotion regulation—self-care, grounding skills, returning to baseline during stress.
Those tools are important.
But long-term emotional consistency often comes from something deeper: Repeatedly engaging in committed action aligned with your values.
When your daily life reflects what you care about:
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Positive emotions feel more sustainable
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Setbacks feel more manageable
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Resilience strengthens
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Your sense of meaning deepens
You’re no longer chasing happiness.
You’re building a life that naturally supports it.
Remember:
✨ The process is the reward.
✨ Values are lived, not achieved.
✨ You can begin right now.
How Therapy at Move Forward Counseling (Pennsylvania) Can Help You Define Values
At Move Forward Counseling, licensed Pennsylvania therapists use Mindfulness and blended approaches tailored to your needs and goals.
What to Expect
- A warm, grounded first session
- Space to share your story at a comfortable pace
- Help identify the most supportive therapy fit
- Insurance-friendly options and online sessions across Pennsylvania
Mini-FAQs
Do you offer online therapy? Yes—online therapy is available statewide.
Can I request a certain therapy type? Yes—your therapist will help you explore what fits best.
How to Get Started
If you’re unsure where to begin, you’re welcome to reach out whenever you’re ready via our contact page. The first session is simply a chance to feel supported, talk through your needs, and explore what’s possible. Schedule therapy with Lilly or another therapist specializing in goal-setting, health, and wellness now.
We’re here to help you take that next step at a pace that feels comfortable and reassuring.
Is the first session overwhelming? Most people find it grounding and calming.
Do you offer flexible scheduling options? Yes—availability varies by therapist.
If you’re interested in exploring your values further or want support aligning your goals with what truly matters to you, scheduling therapy can be a powerful place to begin. You don’t have to do it alone. 💚
References
Hill, D. & Sorensen, D. (2021). ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment (ACT) Therapy. New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
